My big brother

A few months ago one of my best friends moved away. His name is Amos and he is my older half-brother. Although Amos is 25, he still attends school; he is mentally and socially challenged; he has Down syndrome. Despite his disabilities, Amos lives every day to the fullest. He always has a good time and his enthusiasm is contagious.

Recently I read that about 90 percent of all pregnant women whose unborn children are diagnosed with Down syndrome choose to have an abortion. Having grown up with a Down syndrome brother, I would not choose for my wife to have a selective abortion. I first became aware of the ethical issues surrounding genetic testing when my tenth grade biology teacher showed Gattaca in class. The movie clearly demonstrates that the main character is quite capable of functioning in society despite his “imperfections.” The audience experiences the movie through Vincent; his struggles become our struggles and ultimately the movie appeals to our pathos as we get to know Vincent and he is no longer just a faceless human. For me, Down syndrome has a face and it is that of Amos. For those who do not know an Amos, abortion may be an impersonal, easy solution. However, I have learned through the years that although Amos may not be considered perfect in our world, he definitely has a place in it and can do many things, often better than his little brother can.

My epiphany was like that of John Cusack in Martian Child. Cusack adopts a little boy who is troubled and thinks he is from Mars. Throughout the movie Cusack keeps trying to get him to realize that he isn’t. It is not until Cusack is in a situation at work where someone says to him, "why can't you just be who we want you to be?!?" that he finally understands that he has been trying to get the little boy to be someone other people want him to be. Often over the years, I didn’t want to have a Down syndrome brother. I was worried about what my friends might think and embarrassed when the other kids made fun of him. Frequently I would be impatient and annoyed and wish he would just leave me alone. Sometimes I would feel guilty like the day that Amos asked me, “Why do people always look at me?” and I realized how hard it is for him. In those moments, I just wanted to put my arms around him and protect him from the hostile world.

         I now realize just how much he means to me and as I consider the future, I want to embrace life the way he does.

A few months ago Amos moved about 5000 miles away. Recently I received an email from him, saying he was okay and asking if I was okay and telling me that if anyone was bothering me to just let him know and he would take care of it. It’s nice to know that my big brother is taking care of me.  Although he often tried to be just like me, really I am the one who should imitate him in all the areas that really matter.  Someday I want to be just like my older brother.